How to Stop Change from Completely Derailing You

A New Leaf: You’ve heard that the only constant is change. True as that might be, it doesn’t make change any easier. A breakup feels incredibly destabilizing, but so does starting a dream job. No matter the type of change, it can mess with your sense of control and your understanding of who you are.

The Benefits: Research shows acceptance and adaptation help you thrive through transitions. Clinical psychologist David A. Clark says to focus on what you can control rather than spiral over what you can’t. Cognitive scientist Maya Shankar points out that change can threaten our identity, but it can also give us a chance to redefine ourselves and explore new possibilities.

How to Do It: Change is out of your control, but how you respond to it isn’t. Start by listing a few major changes you’ve experienced in life and think back to how you handled them. Don’t be too hard on yourself as you do this, because you probably did better than you remember. Then list times you’ve made good decisions even when things got hard. Finally, imagine what a confident person you know would do in your current situation and identify small steps you could take to emulate them.