How To Tolerate Annoying Things

Buzz Off: We all get annoyed. It’s part of life. We’re told not to “sweat the small stuff” — spilled milk, a stubbed toe, a crying kid on the plane — but the reality is, the small stuff does add up and can affect us in profound ways. In fact, research shows links between these daily hassles and fatigue, anxiety, and poor food choices. We do, however, have the power to minimize the effect of daily hassles on our mood and health. Enter: ACT, or acceptance and commitment therapy.

The Benefits: ACT is a type of psychotherapy that helps you notice, acknowledge, and understand your thoughts and emotions. It involves accepting that you’ll have negative emotions, distancing yourself from negative beliefs, and defining a set of values you want to live by. Research links ACT to improved quality of life, mental clarity, and reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression.

How to Do It: The first step is a practice called “radical acceptance.” That’s not as woo-woo as it sounds: it simply means accepting the reality of what has happened without resisting it or trying to change it. Then, notice your emotions and name your feelings — yes, like you’d encourage a child to do — and accept those, as well. React intentionally. Think about what kind of person you’d like to be and react accordingly. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it right every time.