How to Be Alone With Your Thoughts (and Actually Enjoy It)

Oh So Lonely: If you’re the type to stay busy in order to avoid feeling anxious or lonely, you’re not alone. As a recent Psyche piece explains, our brains aren’t naturally wired to sit comfortably with our own thoughts. Human cognition evolved for action, not introspection, which makes deliberate, enjoyable thinking harder than it sounds. Still, there’s good evidence that we can get better at it.

The Benefits: Research in motivation science shows that simply being motivated to think for pleasure makes the experience more rewarding. Another experiment found that jotting down enjoyable, meaningful topics ahead of time helps anchor attention when the mind starts to wander. Together, these findings informed a practical approach for turning solitary thinking into something restorative rather than draining.

How to Do It: Set the intention to enjoy yourself, and choose topics that feel both pleasant and personally significant, like a recent accomplishment or a moment of connection. Write them down before you begin so you have a guidepost. Carve out a specific window of time and give yourself permission to stop when it becomes too effortful. With practice, thinking for pleasure becomes easier — and something you might even look forward to.