Why Revenge Can Be Addictive (and Hurt You in the Long Run)

You Should Know: When you’ve been wronged, seeking revenge sounds tempting. But revenge can actually become habit-forming and is more harmful to ourselves in the long run, according to research by James Kimmel Jr., an assistant clinical professor at the Yale School of Medicine.

Going Deeper: Years of bullying led Kimmel to take matters into his own hands, though he ultimately didn’t go through with the violence he’d intended. Later, as a lawyer, he’d get a revenge fix when he won cases, but found he craved more. Now, as a psychiatry professor, he understands why: Revenge lights up the motivation and craving parts of your brain, so “revenge looks like your brain on drugs.” 

Takeaway: Previous studies into the “revenge paradox” support Kimmel’s research. A 2008 study found that people who retaliated felt worse and fell into a cycle of rumination about the event afterward. Taking explicit actions of forgiveness improved participants’ mental health better than other or no treatments, a 2014 meta-analysis found. 

Bottom Line: They say revenge is best served cold, but if you actually want to feel better and move on, your best bet is not serving it at all.