How To Listen To Your Adult “Self”

Checking In: Snowboarder Chloe Kim is chasing more gold medals in her third Olympic Games in the halfpipe this week. Being in the spotlight has come with adoration, but also criticism and sometimes straight-up racism. Through therapy, as Kim told Women’s Health, she’s embraced her “wise adult self” as a means of coping with past emotional wounds. When she feels triggered, she thinks before reacting, “What would my wise adult self do?” 

The Benefits: The concept has its roots in Internal Family Systems (IFS), a psychotherapy approach that views the mind as a “family” of different wounded parts. Some are loud, some are quiet. Anger and shame might be “siblings” in this family. Each plays a role, has value, and influences the larger Self. 

How to Do It: You don’t have to be an Olympic athlete to embrace your own “wise adult self” and try elements of IFS. First, “unblend” your mind’s distinct parts. Acknowledge your “angry self” wants to yell, but your “calm self” wants you to chill out. Just as you’d listen to a friend in need, be a witness to your own struggles without judgment or quick fixes. Nurture centeredness and clarity (“self-energy”) through meditation, yoga, or spiritual practice.